Yes, we know: Dad jokes are all the rage, with Instagram and TikTok accounts devoted to the groan-worthy sense of humor. We're not here to debate mom jokes vs dad jokes (there's plenty of humor for everyone!). But while we love those corny jokes, we're here to tell you that it's officially time to let mom jokes have their time to shine! Whether you're a mom looking for some new material or you are in search of something to make the moms in your life laugh, we have the perfect-for-mom jokes for you. Rest assured that these are clean, so they double as jokes for kids.

As Mother's Day approaches, you might be in search of some heartfelt Mother's Day messages to write in her greeting card or maybe even some special Bible verses about Mom. Well—that's not what you'll find here! These hilariously funny jokes are meant to make you laugh about the amusing challenges of motherhood. Take a minute to share some of these quips with the other moms in your life. You know they could use a laugh!

Funny Mom Jokes 2023

• Motherhood is a fairytale in reverse. You start in a beautiful gown end up cleaning everyone's messes.
• Being a mom to a teenager will make you understand why some animals eat their young.
• It's sad when you sit around waiting for mom to make dinner and then you realize you are the mom.
• There's nothing quite like being told I'm wrong by someone who depends on me for food, clothing, and shelter.
• "Our teen has decreed we are the 'Worst Parents Ever.' We will hold our coronation ceremony to accept this honor next Friday. Invitations to follow."
• Nothing is lost until mom can't find it.
• What do moms want for Mother's Day? Replacement silverware.
• I want to be a Pinterest mom, but I'm more of an Amazon Prime mom.
• "I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older and she laughed so hard she cried a little." @KatieDeal99
• "My tween is mad at me and it could be because of any of the horrible things I did this morning: stood in the kitchen, poured coffee, stared out the window, said good morning, breathed..." @mommajessiec
• Kids make a lot of plans for people who can't drive anywhere.
• I don't want to sleep like a baby. I want to sleep like my husband.
• "That's it. I'm selling my kid on eBay." "Don't be silly! You made him. Sell him on Etsy."
• That feeling when your kid threatens not to talk to you for the rest of the day.
• When you finally have time for a girls' night and realize your entire wardrobe went out of style in 2003.
• When your teenager asks for personal space and you remind her that she came out of your personal space.
• I asked to switch seats on a plane because I was next to a crying baby. Evidently that doesn't work if the baby is yours.

Jose Luis Pelaez Inc

Jokes about Motherhood

• "Motherhood: Because going to the bathroom in private is over-rated."
• "Mothers of teens understand why some animals eat their young."
• "The two amounts of pasta I'm best at cooking: 1. not enough 2. enough for 3,000 people."
• "It's spicy: universal Mom Code for 'I don't want to share.' "
• "I'm homeschooling like that substitute teacher who rolls in the tv for a movie and just eats snacks in the back of the class." @fruitsofmotherhood
• "If I get through this quarantine without buying a tie-dye sweatsuit I can do anything." @alyssalimp
• "I love my kids. Not enough to flip the fish sticks halfway through cooking, but I love them."
• "Mom's recipe for iced coffee: 1. Have kids. 2. Make coffee. 3. Forget you made coffee. 4. Drink it cold."
• "Mom, what's it like to have the greatest daughter in the world?" "I don't know, ask your grandma!"
• "Let's get married and have kids so instead of enjoying coffee in the morning, you can braid hair while I pack lunches, and we can all be late." @simoncholland
• "They say women speak 20,000 words a day. I have a daughter who gets that done by breakfast."
• "A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do in a day."
• "Important truth no one tells a first-time mom: Both of you come home from the hospital in diapers."
• "Please excuse the mess, my kids are making memories. Of me yelling at them. To clean up the mess."
• "Some days I do yoga and don't yell at my kids. Some days I scream at them while eating cake over the kitchen sink. It's called balance." @katiebinghamsmith
• "I love it when I find myself screaming 'STOP SCREAMING' at my kids. That's how I teach them irony." @motherhoodandmore
• "Other moms: Are you okay?! Let’s clean that up. I’ll take care of you.
  My mom: Maybe if you listened when I told you not to do that, you would be perfectly fine right now."
• "A police recruit was asked during the exam, 'What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?' He said, 'Call for backup.' "
• "Silence is golden. Unless you have kids. Then silence is suspicious."
• "One minute you are young and cool, maybe even a little dangerous, and the next you are reading Amazon reviews for birdseed." @simoncholland
• "Kid: Mom, stop. You aren't funny. Mom: I made you."
• "Why was the house so neat on Mother’s Day? Because Mom spent all day Saturday cleaning it."

TOM WERNER

Mom Puns

• "What did the mom broom say to the baby broom? Go to sweep!"
• "Why did the cookie cry? Because its mom was a wafer too long."
• "What do you call a petite mother? Minimum."
• "Why did the baby strawberry cry? Because his mom was in a jam!"
• "What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!"
• "Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom on Mother’s Day? Because she left the phone off the hook."
• "What did mommy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web."
• "What kind of sweets do astronaut moms like? Mars bars."
• "Why is a computer so smart? Because it listens to its motherboard."
• "Finally my winter fat is gone. Now I have spring rolls."
• "What kind of flowers are best for Mother’s Day? Mums."
• "What's black and white and goes round and round? A penguin in the washing machine."
• "What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where’s Popcorn?"
• "What do you call a mom who can’t draw? Tracy."
• "Why did the bean children give their mom a sweater? She was chili."
• "I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I'll let you know."

KLAUS VEDFELT

Funny Motherhood Quotes from Celebrities

• "When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway." Erma Bombeck
• “I always say if you aren’t yelling at your kids, you’re not spending enough time with them.” Reese Witherspoon
• "Be nice to your children, for they will choose your rest home." Phyllis Diller
• “The majority of my diet is made up of foods that my kid didn’t finish.” Carrie Underwood
• "Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money to pay for our kids' therapy." Michelle Pfeiffer
• "Every day when you’re raising kids, you feel like you could cry or crack up and just scream, 'This is ridiculous!' Because there's so much nonsense, whether it's what they're saying to you or the fact that there's avocado or poop on every surface." Kristen Bell
• “There are no rules in this house. I’m not like a regular mom, I’m a cool mom.” Amy Poehler, Mean Girls
• "Kids are challenging. Wine is necessary." Kelly Clarkson
  
• “Waking your kids up for school the first day after a break is almost as much fun as birthing them was.” Jenny McCarthy
• "When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I come out." Erma Bombeck
• "Does this baby make me look fat?" Amy Schumer
• "Sleep at this point is just a concept, something I'm looking forward to investigating in the future." Amy Poehler
• "When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you." Nora Ephron
• "Only I can understand my kid. She's like, 'Bdidk g idkgndg kgdogjj ogijg.' And I'm like, 'Okay, I will get you a piece of sausage in just a minute.'" Chrissy Teigen
• "You know how once you have kids you never ever pee by yourself again? At least one of them is always in there with you at all times." Jennifer Garner
• "Becoming a mom to me means you have accepted that for 16 years of your life, you will have a sticky purse." Nia Vardalos
• "Motherhood is basically finding activities for children in three-hour pockets of time for the rest of your life." Mindy Kaling

Katie Bowlby is Digital Director at Country Living, where she covers gift guides, product reviews, crafts, and TV shows like Yellowstone. She’s currently stitching up a cross-stitch pattern for the magazine’s next issue 

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